Recently, I’ve had a little bit of an issue. See, I met a very good looking man in a club, got his number and have been slightly pursued by him.
Simple enough right? No.
The guy, who we shall call Eli, is just so damn attractive. I’m not talking mid level attractive, I’m talking sexy, Calvin Klein model, tanned skin, six pack, beautiful face level attractive. I mean, shit, his face is so nice I would almost feel bad sitting on it… almost.
So, this for me is begging the question, can it be a problem dating an incredibly attractive guy? Is sex better with a better looking person? And when do you draw the line of him being just too good looking?
I mean, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a guy being absolutely gorgeous. It’s not that I feel like he’s going to be a bad guy because he’s so good looking. The issue is, I become some sort of strange different person when I date somebody this attractive. I don’t try and pretend to be something I’m not and I still say all of the same things, but inside, I find myself frantically worrying about the fact he’s so attractive.
It’s hilarious really. Before our first date, I was hurriedly messaging all of my friends and even my mum asking what to wear, how I should act, and – completely unheard of from me – asking if I should fuck the guy on our first date.
As you can already guess, I completely ignored my mum’s advice, took my friends’ advice instead, got drunk and slept with him. Life’s short and he was too hot to pass up.
But, what I found really funny and interesting was watching how my behaviour changed purely because he was so good looking. He was a very nice guy, we talked, joked around and things were obviously going very well. I never normally get self conscious around guys, especially ones as nice as him, and normally always feel like I have the control in the situation. But, with Eli I was a giggly mess who constantly worried about whether or not he wanted to be there.
I could tell he was nervous too as he kept mentioning that he never goes on dates, talked at a million miles an hour and then eventually just confessed that he was nervous. This made things a little easier and then I could eventually move onto my new set of worries: should I sleep with him? Or should I wait? Or if I do sleep with him, do I let my true self out? I.e. do I pretend I like vanilla, white bread sex under the covers?
I found myself, for the first time in a while, actually wanting to date this guy and maybe pursue him further than just being friends with benefits. But yet again, I still wasn’t sure if this was because he was so good looking or because I actually matched with him well. This is another hazard of the good looking man, I could never be sure of whether or not I truly liked him or if it was just his pretty face was painting pictures in my mind and vagina.
Then it came to the sex. I’m very happy with the way I look and I’m also a firm believer of confidence being the most attractive quality in somebody. So, I’m not one to take my clothes off and then lie there awkwardly trying to cover myself and complaining about being fat so I get compliments. I left that shit behind at eighteen.
When I knew that I was going to go ahead with the sex, I put all of my negative ‘oh no don’t be a hoe and fuck it up’ thoughts to the back of my mind and just went with it, if I was going to fuck the guy then I was going to enjoy it. The sex wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t fantastic. The funny thing was, I could tell that the guy was feeling a little nervous and out of his depth. He’d slept with a lot less people than me, which I found quite cute as I don’t mind being someone who introduces my lovers to new things. His dick was okay, he gave fairly good head and didn’t mind dirty talking. These are all things I can work with.
So, to answer one of my beginning questions: is sex better with a better looking person? Yes and no. It’s always nice to look down on the guy or girl you’re fucking and enjoy what you see. But at the same time, if they’re not delivering and meeting the basic par then what’s the point? You can have the prettiest face and hottest body in the world, but they won’t stop premature ejaculation, ugly cumming noises and an inability to find the clitoris.
I’ve had better sex than I had with Eli with people a lot less attractive than him. Does this mean I wouldn’t go back there? Not at all. But then again, perhaps that’s the good looking-ness clouding my judgement yet again. Perhaps it’s a natural inclination to want the good looking ones to stick around because it’s a confidence boost. Or perhaps it’s because we, as a species, are naturally drawn toward sexy, shiny, pretty things, much like magpies.
Maybe, I’m a magpie and I just want to grab this nice, shiny person and keep him in my nest whilst I go out looking for shinier things. But it remains to be seen whether or not he wants to spend a little more time with me. So, we can hope I’ll continue to get my fill of ‘sexy Eli’, as me and my flatmate call him. After all, if you’re gonna look down at a face in between your thighs it might as well be a pretty one right?